How do I love myself again after being in a abusive relationship?

Updated: Jan 2



So first to start, you're going to have to go through what is called the healing process, which is basically when you realign back to who you are. I say that because when we are in a relationship with someone, we give our all. Giving your all to someone, you are slowly losing yourself because you are catering to the needs and wants of someone else.

When you realize, "OK, I need to find myself and heal from this situation," you are going to realize that you have to forgive yourself for what you allowed yourself to go through. Once you start the process of forgiving yourself, you need to cut off ALL contact with your abuser. All of the negative and hurtful things that were said to you write them down. You are then going to throw that paper into some fire. This is part of your healing process... When you throw that piece of paper in the fire, remember all of the negative things that were said to you and let them go; CRY: Crying will help you release the hurt and release the pain (remember, someone who is hurting you is hurting on the inside, so what they say to you is not the truth... that person is just speaking from their hurt and projecting how they feel about themselves onto you). Next, write down all of the positive thoughts and truths that you know about yourself and write down positive mantras. You are going to write these things down because In moments of time when you are feeling down, you are going to open this piece of paper and read it. After you read it, it is going to be the fuel to your fire, your motivation as to why you should not give up on yourself. This will also block out any negative feelings and/or emotions you are battling with.

After your healing process, you are going to have to find peace within. First and foremost, understand that you have to be patient with yourself. You are basically still healing as well, because you are going to have to do some digging within yourself. Look deep within yourself and find out what it is that you like to do, the things that make you happy, and the things that bring you peace.

Next, it’s time to live again. After finding yourself and finding peace, you should now have a more open mind and you should also be more conscious of who you are. Being conscious of who you are is great because now you have direction. Now that you've decided on a new path...Write out your dreams. After writing out your dreams, set goals. After setting goals, you are now going to aim for one goal at a time. Start off with goal number 1 and break it down into steps. Complete one step at a time to achieve your main goal. The benefit of setting small steps to achieve your goals is that when you complete a step, you feel accomplished, and after doing something that makes you feel accomplished, you now have a boost of self-esteem, a boost of confidence, and you know that whatever you put your mind to, you can do it because you just completed a task that you set for yourself. The good thing about all of this is that you do not realize that you are going through new experiences, and with new experiences you come into contact with things you have never seen or known before.


You will now be born again.

Just remember, keep looking forward and don’t look back.

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